literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
How external is "for external use only"?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
