You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
