Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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