Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
