SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
