What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
