Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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