pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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