Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize