i can't believe i had my finger in that
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
