He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
