You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
