doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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