Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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