I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Your cock deserves a montage
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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