Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
