thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think people are normalizing furries
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize