guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
