school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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