I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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