Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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