i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
