Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize