She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
