So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
pop tarts are not kleenex
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
