it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize