How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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