just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
