yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
