i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize