I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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