tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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