she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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