I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
