I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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