How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
