I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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