What a fucking waste of an outfit
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
