Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
