white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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