He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
