I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
