whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
