There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The uberlube is also flammable
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
