i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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