why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
