why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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