Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
