if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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