miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
