He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize