You made me cry and you don't even care
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
