legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
