I feel great
I just peed on a car
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
