Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
