with your own penis?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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