The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
