Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
