Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
What a dumb baby whore.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
