he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
