fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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