The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
