I smell stomach acid.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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