I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
you made out with another girl for some wings
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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