Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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