Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
