Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
you never un-have a 4some
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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