Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
only if we run a train.
done.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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