Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize