Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
