He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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