So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
