I want you more than these girls want KFC
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
