That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
