I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The adults are the big ones right?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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