Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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