perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
