i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
is it fun? or sober?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
