please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I smell stomach acid.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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