We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
