is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
