worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
