Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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