I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
